Grace and the DIYer

I am a die hard do-it-yourselfer.  I love the pleasure that comes from creating.  I get high on accomplishing new things.  It's not always pretty.  I'm fairly good at creatively hiding flaws and am by no means Norm Abrams, but that usually doesn't stop me.  Conversations in our house will often begin like this,
    Wife:  Can you make something like that? 
     Me:  Sure. 
    Wife:  Do you know how? 
    Me:  No idea.  When do you want it finished?

I'd like to think that my motives are always noble, and typically, for my simple home projects they usually are.  Unfortunately, my DIY attitude spills over into just about every area of my life.  For me, asking for help is often more painful than the ensuing hurt that often comes from going at it alone.   What is that, pride?  Delusion?  A little of both?  I'm sitting here thinking about this after just putting my 5 young children down for the night.  The screaming has stopped, the tears have dried, and here I relax, reverently bowing to a large bowl of icecream (of which I had to steal from my in-laws, there's a good reason we don't stock this stuff in our house).  My wife has been away now for 4 days visiting our other kids in Haiti.  I think most would agree that parenting is not meant to be done alone.  It sucks.  But that won't stop me from trying.  Now, I'm no martyr.  I've certainly had help.  My parents and Kristin's parents have stepped in and helped a lot.  But, honestly, a part of me resists the help.   Part of me wants to prove that I can do it alone.  The house won't fall apart.  The kids will get to school properly dressed, with hair combed, and on time.  In all likelihood, I won't lose a single one.  In this case, I've accepted help, but truthfully, I've been slow to ask for it, which brings us to grace. 

Grace comes when I realize that not only can I not do it alone, I can't do it at all.  When I think about the last decade of my life, I wonder how much effort I've wasted trying to make myself right before God?  How many times have I tried to pick myself up after failure, vowing to try harder next time?  How many well intentioned promises have I prayed in an effort to fix myself of my flaws?  All for what?  Here I am now, 10 years later, not much better than I was then.  Still deeply flawed.  Still struggling to maintain a fluent relationship with the Creator.  Attaining nothing near the quality of spiritual maturity I thought I'd be at by now.   Somehow I missed grace. Could it be that it is grace all along that makes me acceptable before God?  Why can't I realize that it is not what I am doing but what Christ has already finished that earns me favor with God.  Maybe God isn't sitting on the edge of his throne, waiting on my every move, ready to hurl lightning bolts or sprinkle goodness on me.   It's amazing how that little change in thought changes your whole perspective on living.  No, the do-it-yourselfer and the Gospel do not mix.  For some reason, the acceptance of grace is relatively easy to accept in salvation, but so difficult when it comes to daily living, or sanctification if you'd prefer the big theologically sounding words.   But, if I couldn't earn God's favor then, when I was lost in sin, and if I needed the obedience of Christ and the cross to set me free from my sin, am I living in any more freedom now as I obsess over how I'm doing?  It seems that I'm still a slave to the sin, past and present, that is keeping me from God.  What if sanctification is not about reaching a somewhere-out- there potential in Christ, but rather is about living up to who you already are in Christ?  How would that change how I think  and act?  No more wondering if I'm doing enough.  Christ did enough.  No more frustrations over failure.  Christ didn't fail.  No more lamenting over unfinished work.  Christ finished his.  No longer will I find myself looking at myself, but instead will be free to find awe in Christ working in me.  My fear of not living up to God's expectations will be replaced with a passion to become exactly who he created me to be.

Why would we choose to see it any other way?  Because we've all got a bit of do-it-yourselfer in us.  Some more than others.

My neurosis and the effect it has on my ability to sit still in church

Friends of mine who sit behind me in church enjoy a good laugh from time to time at my expense. I am absolutely horrible at hiding irritation and for some reason they find it amusing. The shifting in my seat. Attempts to releasing tension building in my shoulders and neck. I don’t know. I’m not sure I believe them. Apparently, when the wheels in my head start turning, there is an involuntary physical response that follows. What is the source of the irritation? Well I it’s not the discomfort caused by ergonomically deficient church pews (though chairs are a wonderful invention, I’m just saying…). Nor is it the lack of reverence displayed by my not so perfect kids struggling beside me, though they invoke a certain response in their own right. The irritation that I’m referring to here, the one that makes my friends laugh and my wife nervous, wells up in me when I find something disagreeable in the message (or sometimes the messenger, which more often than not happens to be a guest speaker). I’m feeling that right now. No, I’m not in church (but wouldn’t that be great – live venting!), but I’ve been thinking about yesterday’s morning message and a couple of thoughts won’t leave me, so I’ll just let them out here and be done with it. So if you are one of the ones laughing at my discomfort, here is a look into my neurosis. Why can’t I just let comments slide? Why can’t I just shut down my critical part of my mind? I don’t know. But here we go….

It’s not that I disagreed with the message, because I don’t. It was organized, thought out, and the advice sound and well presented. But, as it usually begins, a single point, not necessarily even a central point, got me thinking, and well, once that seed is planted in the neurotically critical grey space in my head, that thought sprouts a shoot, which soon branches, and before you know it, I’ve got something that resembles that obnoxious shrub covering the front of your neighbor’s house growing in my head. Yeah it’s uncomfortable, so don’t laugh. It’s a disease. The context is this. Your teenager’s bedroom. What’s in it? What does it reveal about your teenager? What can you change to protect them and avoid losing them to the world? Once again, I’m not picking apart the sermon. There was a lot of good advice provided, but I’m wondering if it (and I’ll add that this ‘IT’ is typical of the youth programs I grew up with and still see prevalent in youth and adult programs within fundamentalism today)really addresses the core of the problem. The problem is real. Kids growing up in the church don’t tend to stay there. I don’t know the correct percentage, but I’ve heard claims such as 2 out of every 3 children that grew up in the church leave it in early adulthood. Without doing a quick Google check, I wouldn’t be surprised if there weren’t a few studies to back up that claim. The comment that got this flake of insanity snowballing in my head was in reference to music. Yep, the portal to hell located in your child’s room known as the radio (my words of sarcasm, not intended to mock the speaker). What I found interesting is that he didn’t even really talk about the dangers of secular music (I assume that he assumed that that one had already been beat to death), but rather offhandedly attacked Christian music (that dreaded CCM!). Surprising not because I haven’t heard the arguments before, but surprising because making this argument in this context assumes that what is tearing your child away from a relationship with God is music about God. That to me is absurd. You may dislike the music. You may find the lyrics shallow . You may find the industry to be a bit of a contradiction. I’ll resonate with you on many of those opinions, but tell me that this is something that I as a parent need to be concerned about? Really? Image worship – yes. An obsession with self gratification –yes. Materialism – yes. Laziness – yes. Pornography and misappropriation of sex – yes. It is scary raising kids in today’s culture. But CCM -- Are you kidding me?

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not arguing for an outright acceptance of all things under the umbrella of CCM. But isn’t that the problem. The outright acceptance or rejection of some thing or some activity on the basis of poorly formed argumentation or anecdotal red herring? As a parent, it may seem good to construct these all encompassing boundaries qualified by lists of yes’s and no’s in order to protect our kids, and don’t misunderstand me, boundaries are necessary, but is it possible that we fail our kids in the end by under emphasizing discernment? Isn’t it possible that not all music written in the last century (and not produced by the Wilds) is bad? Could some movies being put out today by Hollywood actually be edifying? How do we discern what is good and to what is the standard we measure those things against? That is the conversation to be had over and over again. Kids today aren’t dumb. Eventually, they are going to see through the shallowness of our arguments and if we’re not careful, even our faith. Hopefully, they’ll yearn for more, but more likely I’m afraid they’ll look for less. Why are kids leaving their parent’s faith? Maybe it is the influence of the world. We need to have a handle on what our kids are plugged into. But I believe the greater influence is us. What are we communicating about our faith? Is it mere behavior modification? Is it conformation to a standard that may or may not be universal? Is it a futile attempt to make God happy with us so he’ll in turn make us happy (or the reverse, not make God angry so he’ll in turn zap us)? Or is it a yearning to know God more? A humiliation of self sufficiency at the foot of the cross? A transformation of who they are and an unquenchable desire to be everything that God created them to be, nothing else, nothing less? What’s the difference? The Gospel. The Gospel does more than just save us. It keeps us. It motivates us. It makes us. Why then do we sell our children short?  To echo and skewer a line from the Sprint commercials --there is no limit to what Grace can do.  So why would anyone want to limit Grace? 

I know I'm guilty.  You?

Faith (and popcorn)

A few weeks ago, Kristin and I took our two oldest boys to a monster truck show at Lucas Oil stadium. The boys were thrilled to watch Grave Digger, Maximum Destruction, and about a dozen other oversized, obnoxiously loud toys race around the arena field. And they certainly weren’t alone in their excitement. Fifty thousand or so other children, of all ages, made the trek to the big city to cheer on their favorite Hot Wheel as it crushed its way around a manufactured dirt course. Shortly after finding our seats, which was quite the journey in its own right, I was tapped to make a popcorn run. I figured this would be easy enough. I was pretty sure I saw the lines forming at the concession in the vestibule not far from where we entered our section. Unfortunately, the concessions closest to our gate just sold the last of their popcorn. But succumbing to my hunter/gatherer instincts and refusing to return to my family empty handed, I forged on. Apparently, the popcorn planning committee greatly underestimated the redneck fan base’s hankering for popcorn. I passed concession after concession only to find remnants of kernels what once were. Stubbornly I pressed on. Oh, but there was hope. A fellow gatherer had found the elusive popcorn spring. The popcorn maker behind the counter was empty, but every few minutes a tub of popcorn would mysteriously appear from the back. I thought it better not to ask questions and quickly forked over a small fortune for my prize. Finally, with the sense of satisfaction that can only come from a giant tub of popcorn in one hand and a large coke in the other, I began my hike back to my family which were now, of course, halfway across the upper deck seating.

Heading back to my seat I had a pretty good idea of where I needed to go, but didn’t have hard confirmation with me. I maneuvered my way through the crowds (aimlessly searching for popcorn for themselves no doubt) and entered the tunnel that led to the section I thought would lead me to my seat. Upon entering the expanse of the crowded stadium, I turned to look up at the seating hoping to get confirmation that I was indeed where I should be. Hundreds of unfamiliar faces stared back at me. Confident that my instincts were right though, I took the first step. As I climbed the seemingly endless flight of steps, I searched intently for my beautiful wife and two boys. Where were they? Each step brought an increasing measure of doubt. Were my instincts wrong? Was it section 525 or 526? What was that row number again? Why don’t I see them yet? I kept climbing. And climbing. It wasn’t until they were just a few feet away that I noticed them. Relief. I excused myself to my seat , handed over the bounty, and settled in for show. As it turned out, my instincts were right after all.

For me, following God is not that much different. There might be some that move confidently through life without doubt. That’s not me. When I look ahead, I can’t see the end. I look for something substantial, but often only see unfamiliarity staring back at me. I wonder if I’m going in the right direction. If I didn’t miss something along the way. Sometimes I wish God didn’t seem so elusive, that his directions were more obvious. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to rely on the subtle nudges of the Spirit. Wouldn’t a pillar of fire or a puffy white cloud be much easier to follow? Why leave room for doubt? Because I think that’s where faith begins. Questions leave the seeker unsatisfied and creates within him the desire to pursue. I think that’s what God wants from us, pursuit. Faith is taking that first step, and each step after, even when you have questions. We can take those steps, even in uncertainty, because Christ became man to show us the way. He gave us the cross to make us a way. And He gave us the Spirit to guide us along the way. In this I can be confident. Unlike my own instincts, or sense of direction which has fooled me a time or two, the Spirit always points me to the Father. I can doubt myself and I can doubt my ability to figure out God, but I can’t shake my faith in God. I guess that’s because He gave it to me in the first place. If it was anything of my own making, I’m not too confident I wouldn’t have lost it along the way.

So long Peyton ...

It's a sad day in Indy.  After giving Indianapolis 14 record setting years, a perennially winning team, a championship, a new stadium, and even a Super Bowl, Peyton Manning has officially been cut by Irsay and the Colts.  I guess I understand that it's a business, but what about loyalty?  I have to admit, I won't be too upset if he comes back with the Texans and kicks the Colts butt for a couple of years. 

And now for your Peyton Manning tribute... (Warning, PG-13)

Why I gave up on young earth creationism, part 2

It’s funny how our attitudes about certain things change over time.  You know that slightly uncomfortable feeling you get when you look back at your old photos from high school?  Pegged jeans, high tops, shelved hair?  Doesn’t look so cool anymore, does it?  How could something so cool then look so ridiculous now?  What has changed?  You?  Maybe a little, Maybe you’re a little thinner up top and thicker around the middle.  But I’d bet when it comes down it, you probably haven’t changed much.  Has the world changed?  Maybe a bit on the surface, but once again, at its core, it’s pretty much the same.  So why do I look like such an idiot with these parachute pants on today?  Maybe it just my perception that has changed.  My eyes capture images of my surroundings and feed those images to my brain.  My brain then convinces me how cool I look when I blend in to those images I’m seeing.   Take me out of that world and place me into another one where I perceive something different and I don’t look so cool anymore.   The same is true with entertainment.   Not too long ago,  I got a little excited when I saw that the complete series one of my all time favorite shows was on now on Netflix.  That’s right.  I’m talking about one of the greatest TV shows of all times. MacGyver.   As a kid, I loved that show.   Come on, admit it, you did too.  Give him some duct tape, a ball point pen, a stick of gum, and maybe some old chemicals lying around your garage and he couldn’t be beat.   Genius!  So with great joy I jumped into the pilot episode.     It was horrible.  Bad acting.  Ridiculous story.  Laughable special effects.  Will it alter my idolatry for MacGyver?  Not if I can help it.  I’m afraid to watch another episode in fear that he may lose some of his awesomeness.     So what does this have to do with creationism?  Hang on, I’ll get there.  Bear with me.  Why are skinny leather ties not cool?  Why is MacGyver (though still awesome) now cheesy?   The ties haven’t changed.  Still stiff and hard to tie.  The show hasn’t changed.  Still in its original format.   But the backdrop I’m placing them into has changed, and they don’t fit.   They are out of place.  I’ve experienced more, seen more, hopefully learned more, and now I see things differently.  Unless I immerse myself back into the world of MacGyver and Saved by the Bell, those styles and images will never be quite as right as I thought they were.   The point?   I would liken the push for Young Earth Creationism as sort of an Uncle Rico in Napoleon Dynamite.  It might have made sense a while ago, but not in the context of the current state of knowledge we live in.  Like someone living in the 80’s, it is disconnected.  Either the brain is not picking up on proper images of the world it belongs in (bad Science?), or it just doesn’t care (bad Theology?).   Either way, it is disconnected.   

So the question I have is should we read Scripture in light of how we perceive the world today?  Some say that we can’t and shouldn’t because our perceptions are constantly changing.  How can we trust the words of fallible humans over the spoken truth of an infallible God?  Admonishments such as, “It is time to stop compromising the clear words of God’s inspired Word and start trusting fully in what He said He did”  sound great but does it make sense in the context of the creation wars?   Science has had a history of faultiness, but does that mean it can’t be trusted at all? 

The problem I’ve grown into is that it’s just not that simple.  How can I ignore the reality I live in for something that seems so ancient?  Is it even possible?  I’m yet to meet a Christian that takes all of Scripture at face value (though I hear a few that claim to).  Ever stone your children for disobedience?  Women, have you ever spoken in church?  If so, was your head covered?  Silly, off target examples I know, but we all read scripture in context, as we should.  We also all read scripture with glasses on, which is not necessarily bad, but should be recognized.  The same is true of Genesis and the other creation stories mentioned in the Bible.  Though there are few today that believe the earth is flat, that is the picture we get from Scripture (Psalm 24:2, Dan 4:7-8, Matt. 4:8, Gen 11:4).  I don’t know of anyone who subscribes to the ancient idea that the sky consists of a dome holding an expanse of water held up by solid pillars, though that is the picture we get Scripture (Job 38:22, Psalm 104:3, 13, Gen 1:6-7, etc.)  How about geocentricism?  Should we hold to that?  See Joshua 10:12-13, Hab. 3:11, I Chron. 16:30, Psalm 93:1, and Job 9:6, among others.  It’s one thing to describe the sun rising and setting as we still do today.  It is another to actually believe it, as ancient civilizations did.  The cosmic view proposed in Scripture is consistent with the cosmology of the day as witnessed by other ancient texts.  It was written within a certain framework.  So when it’s obvious that we can dismiss the descriptions of a solid firmament held by great pillars or a flat earth located in the center of the cosmos in light of our current understanding, how can we show consistency in our understanding of cosmos as revealed to us by God in His Word?  How is it rationally possible to believe that flat-earthers are somehow “detached” from reality and at the same time dismiss those who trust that the earth is very old as “compromisers”?  I cannot answer that within framework of young earth creationism.  It seems to me that the testimony is inconsistent.  By telling people to reject science and listen to God’s word, all the while reframing some aspects of Scripture in light of science hints of hypocrisy.  As it is, Christians are often accused of picking and choosing the Scriptures they choose to follow.  This is just one more example and potentially a poor testimony to those outside the church. 

I am no longer a young earth creationist because I cannot read ancient literature in the framework of a modern cosmos and convince myself that I am consistent in my interpretation.  It would be like watching Macgyver today and convincing myself that it is well scripted drama or better yet, squeezing my butt into some skinny jeans and telling myself that I look good.  It’s just not right.  Compile that with the lack of scientific integrity I see coming out of some young earth publications, and you have me well on my way out the door.  Those reasons though could be argued to be insufficient in themselves if God really did mean for us moderns to believe that the earth was created in six 24 hour days.   Of course I don’t think that’s the case, but I’ll save that for part 3.

Another new find involving something very old...

Not quite Encino Man, but a pretty dang cool discovery nonetheless.  Russian scientists have managed to regenerate fertile plants from 30K year old fruit tissue buried in Siberian permafrost.  The ancient fruit was found in animal burrows in permafrost of the so-called Late Pleistocene ice complex found throughout the eastern Arctic.  The fossil burrows contain thousands of plant material and are located in layers containing bones of large mammals and other animals you'd expect to see in any of the three Ice Age movies.  Radiocarbon dating of the plant material places the deposits as being 28k-32k years old.  The burrows are actually storage chambers, created by squirrels or similar small animals to keep their food.  Apparently, when the little animals went about making their on-site crawl-in freezers, they deposited seeds and fruit against the walls of the ice, which then remained frozen until now.  Although several plant species of differing maturity were tested, researchers found the most promise with the fruit of Silene stenophilla, which according to the paper were "dominant... and in a state of good morphological perservation" (AMS radiocarbon dating showed them to be 31,800 +/- 300 years old).  How'd they get them to flower?  Clonal Micropropagation.  Micropropagation is essentially plant multiplication in vitro.  They took placental tissue from immature seeds and in test tubes containing growth medium, initiated the growth of shoots from the tissue.  The primary shoots grew into rooted plants and the rooted plants grew to sexually mature plants.  The flowers of the mature plants were cross polinated with other ancient plants and so on. 

What's the significance?  Well, other than the fact that something that was placed in a icy hole by a burrowing squirrel was brought back to life in a lab 30 thousand years later (how cool is that?), the experiment provides insight to the long term conservation of biological material, tissue resilience, and phenotypic plasticity (the amount of physiological change the plant underwent through the years when compared to modern representatives) and of course, begs the question of what else can be brought back to life?    Fun to think about.